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Total Mommy Brain Day

March 29, 2007

So, A woke up at 3:30 am with a raging fever. I was unable to determine how high because she screamed the whole time I was using the thermometer and gave up when it hit 102.1 degrees. By that point she was so hysterical that you would have thought I was jabbing her with a hot needle rather than placing a plastic thermometer gently under her arm. I called the after hours line at my pediatrician’s office and they told me to give her Tylenol and come in at 9:30am.

She wouldn’t sleep so we hung out on the couch, cuddled, and listened to Baby Beethoven. Around 7am she finally drifted off for good and I caught another hour of sleep. This brings us to Mommy Brain Moment #1: I was so focused on getting A to the appointment that I almost left the house without R. I carried A to the car after locking the door behind me. Opened the van. Saw two seats. Oops.

Still, we all made it to the appointment only 2 minutes late. Mommy Brain Moment #2 came when the nurse called for “A”. Twice. While I was staring right at her. By the third time it actually registered that “A” is us. I knew I should have made time for a cup of coffee.

We entered the exam room, A was weighed (she’s lost 5 ounces đŸ˜¦ since January). She had her temperature taken (more tears, screams, kicks) and we settled in to wait for the doctor. Is it me or do those rooms shrink the more time you spend in them? It seemed pretty small when we rolled the double stroller in. It got smaller when R insisted on getting out. But by an hour in it was claustrophobic. And hot.

The doctor arrived and I was forced to pin A down while her ears were checked. Then I had to pin her down and hold her head still while the doc cleaned out her ears. As if this wasn’t enough fun they wanted a throat culture. It’s so heart-wrenching to be pinning your daughter down and here her scream, then pathetically whimper “ma-ma-ma-ma,” followed by more tears.

Finally, as a real treat they decided they needed a urine sample. So I had to hold her down, again!, so they could tape this bag to her area. The next sixty minutes were spent waiting for her to pee. Now, any other time I would be chanting, don’t wet your diaper, we need to get out of the house and I don’t have time to change you. Which means she would pee. Or, I would realize that there are no diapers on the changing area at the exact moment I had folded up the used diaper. And she would pee. Today, all I wanted was a little sample so the doctor would release us from our prison…err, exam room. She would NOT pee.

So the next 60 minutes was spent forcing liquid down A’s sore throat, chasing R up and down the hallway (door was open to get much needed cooler air), and moving around the furniture to prevent R from playing with the doctor’s computer. I had exhausted my book pile, toy stash, and repertoire of songs. I got the “she still hasn’t gone” sympathy look from the nurse. The doctor decides that they should do a catheter.

We escaped after me pining A down for the umpteenth time and they successfully got their sample. (Naturally, while they were getting their sample she decided to pee all over the place.) After the past three hours I was physically exhausted, mentally exhausted, hungry, and hoping they would stay quiet long enough for me to use the bathroom.

This is Mommy Brain Moment #3: We hustle into the bathroom and I’m overjoyed to see a handicap stall that’s big enough for me to wheel the double stroller right in. I’m a little annoyed to see that someone left the seat up but who cares. I’m washing my hands and notice the urinals in the corner. Odd. I’m leaving the bathroom and see the “Men” sign on the door. I’m waiting for the elevators and it finally hits me. I just used the Men’s room. I just used the MEN’S Room! Oh my goodness, I just used the Men’s room!!! How embarrassing.

6 Comments leave one →
  1. Perky permalink
    March 30, 2007 2:53 pm

    That distant sound you hear is me laughing!!! But I’m laughing WITH you not AT you! Oh, what a morning! I’m so sorry, but thank you for sharing that gem of a morning with us! Using the mens’ room at the end was the icing on your cake, wasn’t it?

    Take it easy and breathe. This, too, shall pass! I hope A feels better soon!

  2. Swistle permalink
    March 30, 2007 3:10 pm

    Under those circumstances, I think you did extremely well. And why are those examining rooms always so HOT AND STUFFY? I guess they keep the temperatures up so the little stripped babies won’t be chilly, but I’d rather snuggle the baby in a blankie than be all flushed and red and sweaty while I’m talking to the pediatrician.

  3. Rachel permalink
    March 30, 2007 6:50 pm

    It’s ALMOST better when they’re both sick so you can just cuddle the two of them instead of having to chase one. I think the worst thing is having to hold them down to do something that will cause them pain, or that they THINK will cause them pain.

    Hope she feels better soon!

  4. Trace permalink
    March 30, 2007 10:38 pm

    Whether you know it or not you have a knack for humor. Your post had me cracking up. I hope that A feels better soon and you get the chance to catch some zzz’s.

  5. Mommy Daisy permalink
    March 31, 2007 1:15 am

    I’m delurking. I saw a comment on Swistle’s blog from you. This is too funny. WHy are all doctor’s offices crazy like that? And I just have one kid, it’s not fun keeping him in that little room. (Also, do you read Purle is a Fruit blog? She just posted about a horrible doctor’s office experience too.) Glad I’m not the only one. Luckily we’ve only been in for well baby checks so far.

  6. M-j permalink
    March 31, 2007 9:47 pm

    I can TOTALLY relate to this.
    I do not have twins, but Bugaboo is worth four children and he runs up and down the hall, jumps on the exam table, slams the cabinet doors and screams while we are getting blood from Bug Boy. And, I’ve used the men’s room…with men in it.
    Also, I’ve pulled AWAY from the house with one child in it. I don’t think it is Mommy Brain, but sleep deprivation is the cause!!!
    Hope she feels better soon and you can GET SOME SLEEP!

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