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Memory Loss & It Gets Easier

April 13, 2007

I recently emailed and then phoned someone from my MOMs club who had posted a rather desperate message on our bulletin board. S’s twins are 3 weeks old and she’s feeling overwhelmed. Talking to S brought me back to those days when they were 2 weeks old, neither one was a good nurser and they were eating every 2 hours (which means by the time you feed, burp, diaper, and soothe to sleep each of them you have exactly 11 minutes and 22 seconds before you need to prepare for the next feeding).

I have vague memories of those days. This saddens me a little because I think there are many things about their precious newborn state that I have forgotten. I’m grateful for photos that give me a better idea of what they looked like and help remind me of how it felt to hold 11lbs of infant (combined weight of two) in my arms. I also think this memory loss might be a self-protective measure. I would possibly be forced to stop sharing a bed with my husband if the picture of those days was too clear.

My chant to S during our 45 minute phone conversation was “it gets easier.” I used to hear this all of the time from twin parents we would meet. In my sleep deprived head I always wanted to know when. May 3rd? September 19th? 2006? 2007? When they’re 1? 2? 18? Could I have that in writing? Is there a timeline? Because I really felt like if I just knew that it got easier on January 23, 2007 at 11:02 am then I could handle the 288 days until I got there. (Having twins is teaching me to become less of a control freak.)

But it really does get easier. Maybe not magically on a certain date/time but it does. New challenges arise but new joys come with them and old challenges become fond (or lost) memories. Plus, there are so many times when it is just awesome to have twins. Like this morning when I woke up to the sound of them blowing kisses to each other in their cribs. Or when they both learned to say and sign “baby.” Because now they take turns pointing at each other and saying “baby.”

So I’m really glad I got the chance to talk to S because it’s helping me to remember to appreciate my kids. They’ll only be this small for a short time. I’ll only remember about 5% of this year so I want my memories to be good ones. *Cue sappy music*

One Comment leave one →
  1. M-j permalink
    April 13, 2007 9:10 pm

    I hated it when people told me it would get easier to accept what Bugaboo is going through. But now i Understand. i do not have two of him (thank God for that!) but he is worth four. I kid you not.
    There is no magic date he will improve but I know it will come. You know what REALLY helps? People that are there for you. People that understand. People that can tell you that it gets better.

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