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Moustaches and Pants for Goodwill

May 14, 2007

I learned two very important things on Mother’s Day:

1. Men with big moustaches are the scariest thing in the world to my 16 month old daughters.
-and-
2. I need to get rid of my favorite capri pants as they are too big.

How do these two random facts combine? Well, I took the girls to my parents for dinner on Mother’s Day while DH visited his mom. My parents don’t have any extended family in the area. My Dad was born in Germany and his brothers live in Florida/Georgia. My Step mom’s only brother lives in South Carolina. However, they have become close with various people who are in similar situations and these people serve as our “family” for holidays and special occasions.

Among the guests were the G’s, a nice family from Poland. Mr. G has grown a very large moustache since we last saw him.

My darling daughters took one look at Mr. G and immediately ran for me with looks of abject terror on their faces. I’ve never felt so popular. R. got to me first and wrapped her arms around my legs. I picked her up as she burst into tears. A. lost the race so she just tried to climb up my pants. Then, even though R. was already IN my arms, R. felt the need to keep scrambling higher. (Really, I don’t know where she was headed…did she think sitting on my head would save her from scary-moustache-man?)

I was trying to control a rather strong R. when I became increasingly aware that perhaps my favorite capris are a little loose these days. (Probably due to losing elasticity over time rather than weight loss on my part. Bummer.) In fact, A. was tugging so hard that I was seconds away from finding myself in my underwear surrounded by an assortment of my parents’ closest friends.

Somehow, I managed to control R enough to free my other arm so that I could scoop up A. (Mental note: work on growing 3rd arm. The number of available arms should always outnumber the children present.) Not having a good grip on either toddler, I staggered over the a chair and tried my best to convince them that Mr. G (and his moustache) aren’t going to hurt them. Eventually, I took them into the kitchen to calm them down. Each glimpse of the moustached man caused a relapse. This process repeated itself for the entire 2 hours and 38 minutes we were there. I kind of had a nice rhythm. See Mr. G, scoop up R, pull up pants, scoop up A, pull up pants, leave the room, repeat.

Naturally, upon my arrival home my first order of business was to retire my capris. My second task was to tell my DH that he must be present at any function that Mr. G’s moustache is at.

Side note – you know you watch too much Sesame Street when you find yourself telling your daughters that “Mr. Noodle has a moustache. Don’t be scared. He looks like Mr. Noodle.”

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. Perky permalink
    May 14, 2007 8:16 pm

    Oh my goodness – Mr. Noodle!!! Too funny! We love Mr. Noodle around here. Actually, I love BOTH Mr. Noodle and his brother, Mr. Noodle!!!!

    Isn’t it fun to juggle kids on your own? I did just that on Sunday morning at the Sunday School assembly when neither of the boys wanted to cooperate! I was cursing my husband under my breath for going to work on Mothers Day morning! Luckily, he redeemed himself with my Mothers Day gift (which you’ll have to wait to discover until I have the chance to blog about it!)

  2. Domestic Goddess permalink
    May 14, 2007 10:30 pm

    It would have been much funnier if you really lost the pants. You must learn to lie on your blog…although, I’ve yet to actually have to do it, because my life is that ridiculous and comical.
    But, great, very funny post!

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