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We’re Not Rich

April 19, 2008

Just in case you didn’t get the memo – I’m not rich. Not even close. I live in a row home and we work to maintain our budget. We’re debt free (if you don’t count small student loans and a mortgage), have modest savings, but we don’t have a lot of cash to spend frivolously. I wanted to stay at home and we both realized that it would mean financial sacrifices on our part. Completely worth it to me.

When I joined my moms club I was really pleased because everyone has such different backgrounds, religions, political views, and finances. There are people with less than me and people with more than me. I’ve never felt judged because I don’t have a huge home or carry a Dooney and Bourke purse. In fact, most of the people are more than willing to sympathize over the huge cost of raising two+ at a time. Even the ones with trust funds and lawyer husbands.

I also found a weekly playgroup through the club. I really like Mom1 and Mom2 but the third mom is the one I know the least. Mom3 misses a lot of play dates/moms nights out because her kids (in daycare a few days a week) are often sick. She’s managed to miss every play date I’ve hosted. Mom3 lives in the same town as I do. She lives in the expensive part and I live in the much more middle/working class area.

The last time we were together, Mom3 started talking about when she was house hunting. It seems at first she was surprised that a 5 bedroom home in one area of our town was so much cheaper than a 3 bedroom home in a different part of town. Until she realized that there are some parts of our town that “you just don’t want to live.” I was so busy processing the fact that she probably means a.)my neighborhood, b.)the neighborhood my good friend E lives in, or c.) the neighborhood my friend and fellow toddler twin mom lives, that I didn’t even get to reply. (All three neighborhoods are considered good – good schools, low crime, etc.) Then there was the whole thing about how she drives an extra half hour away to shop at Tar-jay because the “clientele” at the one closest to us “just isn’t what you want to be around.” (note-the people she was speaking to all shop at the “bad” tar-jay.)

Obviously, she didn’t get the memo that I am not rich. I’ll guess I’ll have to re-send before my next turn to host playgroup. That whole conversation was weird. I’m used to having friends that are accepting of all ethnicities, religions, and “classes.” I guess I’m pretty naieve to not realize that people might actually judge me for giving up a good salary to stay home and live in a “small” house. This was kind of new to me so I figured I’d just put it out there for all my bloggy friends – I’m not rich and I don’t care. Sorry if it bothers you.

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. carrie permalink
    April 20, 2008 4:45 am

    Wow…I hope she stumbles across your blog and “gets the memo!”

    I will drive to the “other” Tar-jay, not because it has better clientele, but because the one closest to us NEVER has at least one thing on my list – they are just poorly stocked. But really – do you have to be around a certain class of people in order to shop??

    The whole thing baffles me…

    Oh, and as long as we are ranting…I especially love it when people say to me, “I would love to be able to afford to stay home with my kids.” NOTHING sets me off from 0-60 more quickly. My husband and I did the same…worked, waited a bit before having kids, budgeted, and are always careful about our spending so that I can stay home with our girls. Grrrr….

  2. Carol Van Rooy permalink
    April 20, 2008 5:05 am

    Your right, it bothers me… NOT!!!

  3. Mommy Daisy permalink
    April 20, 2008 1:15 pm

    Wow, that is sad that people view life like that. Makes me wonder about their priorities. I guess I haven’t encountered this problem…that I know of.

    I like what Carrie said above about people saying things about staying home. Like it’s not a complete sacrifice. I’d love to have more nice things, but I make do with what I have. Yes, it’s that important me to stay home.

  4. Kristin.... permalink
    April 20, 2008 7:01 pm

    You know, I get the impression that she didn’t even have a clue that was she was saying could even upset you. I know people like that. They speak without thinking.
    I would like to second your I’m not rich and I don’t care. Shall we start a club?

  5. Lauren permalink
    April 22, 2008 4:52 pm

    Never let what other people think dictate how you think of yourself… you are rich in a good husband, beautiful girls, great friends :), and a wonderful wit and intelligence. All which matter a lot more than where you live.

    Just my two cents 🙂

  6. 30 Minute Mommy permalink
    April 23, 2008 1:28 am

    Cheers! Tell snooty McMommy to take a hike!

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